Be There
by AliasOfWestgate
Summary: Sister Fic to Aftermath. Hakkai ruminates over Gojyo this time. Read and Review


Alias:  Hello again everyone! Sorry I've been away for so long. Junket Quest is still being worked on—far from forgotten. Daijoubu! It'll be around fairly soon, real life has gotten in the way a bit. Bills, job woes, and utter insanity.  *sweatdrops*  

Gojyo: Oi, chickie...you better get on with it. I want my turn over with Mitsu. Hakkai, stop talking to Alias, so she can finish! 

Hakkai: Maa, maa Gojyo. Now you _know we'll all get our chance to talk with Alias so she can write for us. Look at what she's done for the both of us? _

Alias: Okay guys, arigatou…can you go kill the bill collectors and my roommate? 

Gojyo: *smirks around his ciggie, glances at Hakkai* 

Hakkai: *smiles even wider, nods to Gojyo*

{Sound of breaking furniture, screams of horror as the boys go to work}   

Alias: Now while those two are occupied, Here's the unofficial sister fic to my first story, Aftermath. Jumped up and bit me, so to say. 

Disclaimers: All Gensomaden Saiyuki characters belong to Kazuya Minekura-sensei and not me. If they did, I'd not be in university, ne? 

**Be There**

By AliasOfWestgate

_I see her elegant long brown hair again, spattered with the blood of her final decision. I hear the voice of someone I do not know the name of, but his tone mocks me in my grief. There is so much despair, even in my cold rage. The nameless one mocks me as I remember him doing, yet in the end…I still kill him as he tries to kill me. The same cold rage that never ends brings me to it, and I change once more into a being with no limits as the cold rain falls around us. _

My eyes open up again. I make no sound as this nightmare ends. Thank the gods it was a nightmare. It mocks me as always. Though I'm a healer now, things have barely changed. I kill to stay alive; this time sanctioned by the gods in Tenkai themselves. The two sides of my talent work in concert. The days are few that I don't want to do this, and the cold rage has never really left me as I drive this ragged group around. Smile never leaving my face. Yet there's one that keeps me sane, close as the rage boils to the surface. My smile hides it, but he keeps it from boiling over. 

He's asleep now, instead of watching over me for once. I can watch over him. Crimson locks sprawled as he himself takes up an entire side of our campfire. He sleeps quietly, sprawled as if he waits for another to be inside the crook of his arm. I think before I began living with him, he rarely slept alone. My presence didn't stop his occasional weekend away, afterwards. I always knew what he did. It hurts me not, as long as he's there to remind me of myself and my cold rage again. Admonishment on a daily basis, yes Gojyo, you are still that for me. You who still seek love, and I, who have lost it. 

I've taken the last three years or so as penance, and a journey. Before we began this endless road trip, I had very little to do with my time, since I was no longer a teacher. The Sanbutshin also had suggested I train to master the power within me. So began the training to master the Ki that burned within, even with the power limiters. So you trained beside me, even though you had not been asked to do so. We had very little else to do with our time, really. The more gregarious of us two, I thought you would be bored.  Then again, I think you were simply watching me again, keeping me safe to master both sides of myself. Both of us, as warriors and healers. Sanzo complains about you constantly, but you heal us in less obvious ways. You are more a healer of the spirit, while I heal their bodies. I can manipulate my energy with my considerable will, to heal those who need it, or on the other side to kill without a physical weapon. Your flowing shakujou, which is obvious and messy, works with the taunts and flippancy in battle. After those battles, it's you that reminds us we're still people.  Even the great Sanzo himself needs that now and then. This is why you always bicker with him. If that same temper had no other outlet, I think more than the youkai would be dead.  My outspoken friend, you also keep Goku happy, by treating him no different than any other younger brother. I think as his older brother Jien did for you, long ago.  I no longer need such close observation, but you never miss it when I need help again. 

Yes my arrogant friend, I wouldn't be surprised if you know this too. There's always been more to you, and Sanzo realized that when I gave my transparent reasons to stay with you. I can treasure life again, but it would be nothing if you weren't there to be the anchor of my sanity in the quiet rage that overtakes me, both now and then. Cho Gonou is gone, but not forgotten. I am Cho Hakkai, but after all is said and done; it's a red haired hanyou that keeps Gonou from returning in his complete, cold insanity.  __

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Owari! ^_^  

Hope ya like it. 

AliasOfWestgate  


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